Lesson Learned on a Mixed Prayer

Everyday, before I go to my office, I drop by the chapel to say a quick morning prayer.  Since I often feel stressed at work, the first thing that I pray is for Him to give me strength and will to go on with my job and to guide me in my everyday tasks and projects.  With all my energy focused on this hope, I would always feel better once I'm on my desk already and my days become more manageable.  It shows that God really lifts our burdens and produces miracles to make our prayers come true.

However, my mistake, I think, was this: What comes last in my quick morning prayer is for my family, to keep them safe, happy and healthy.  And to be honest, my heart usually is not really set on this prayer because my focus is on my career worries.

This new year, I promised not to be late for work because I had too many tardiness and leaves last year and I am quite worried that my attendance would affect my career.  My tardiness and absences are all because of family matters, especially when either I or my daughter was sick.  And of course, I couldn't help but to excuse myself from work if my daughter is sick because...well, I am a mother and I want to personally take care of my daughter.  Anyway, just last Wednesday, I broke my new year resolution--- I was again absent from work because my daughter suddenly had very high fever (and I didn't know why.  She was her usual self the day before).  I informed my officemates and they replied positively.  The next day, my daughter still had fever and I had to bring her to the hospital for check up (thank God it wasn't dengue.  Actually her CBC and Urinalysis tests were normal).  That was the 2nd day of my absence.  Then Friday came, she still had the fever and I was planning to take her to another doctor for second opinion.  That was the 3rd day of my absence from work.  My work colleagues didn't already reply to my texts and probably they were already pissed off because we still have a report to work on.  My conscience nagged me whether to go to work and leave my whining and crying daughter who was begging for my embrace or stay at home to take care of my daughter and get ready to be nagged by my officemates (or boss!) next week.  Obviously, I decided to be with my daughter for those 3 days.  A mother's heart is truly stronger than being a career woman.

On the afternoon of my daughter's 3rd day of being sick, her fever suddenly cooled down and she became her normal self again.  I guess she just wanted to feel secured and loved because her daddy just went abroad last week and will be back after a few months.

In this light, I learned that  no matter how much I prayed for my own self growth at workplace, if I do not put the well-being of my family first, everything that I've worked hard for will crash down.  I guess I had my prayers all mixed up.  I should first pray for my family's safety, health and happiness then other personal hopes should come next.

And of course, though I knew this all along, I would always remind myself that being a mother is a mother's main job.

Wishing for a perdurable day

These past few days weren't so much favorable for me.  Having sore eyes for two weeks means absence from work and being away from family (so that they wouldn't be able to catch sore eyes from me).  It was hard and painful (physically and emotionally).  First, I left a big project in the office which needed coordination and preparation, and I don't think that  would finish it on time, since the doctor is not yet giving me a medical clearance.  This would mean that I would surely convince my superior to move the project next month.  And there are other tasks that I should be doing during my two week absence.  Gosh, I feel like I'll gonna get low grade in my performance appraisal--- and it was not even my fault!

Aside from career, I also got no time for my family.  Because of my sickness, I had to stay away from my husband and daughter for a while until I get better.  Therefore I packed up my bag and lived with my parents in the province for two weeks.  Though my husband sometimes visit me, I didn't get to see my daughter for two weeks and I miss her so much.  I guess, she misses me too.

And because of my sickness, there'sno fun for me.  I couldn't get out of the house, not just because sore eyes is infectious, but also because the sunlight hurt my eyes...so much!

Therefore, I am alone in this room, checking out Facebook and looking for something exciting in the net, like looking for an online job. Hehe.

Now I'm wishing for a normal day for me--- a perdurable a day, helps you sleep, work and play.

Good day everyone!

On Sick Leave

I'm having a looong weekend right now.  But I'm not in the mood to celebrate it because I'm on sick leave.  And there's nothing exciting on being sick.

Monday afternoon-- a heavy rain poured down from the heavens.  And because I didn't want to get stuck in the office because it seemed like a long heavy rain, I got out of the office after work, 5pm on the dot.  It was super duper raining outside but I got an umbrella.  I guessed, I would shield me from the rain...but that's what I thought.  My head was safe but my feet and legs were not (I was wearing our uniform skirt and stockings that time).  So cold water creeped in my open toed shoes.  And when I got inside the aircon bus, the feeling became worse because I started to feel the cold creep inside my whole body.  When I arrived home, I changed clothes fast, fearing I might catch flu.

Tuesday-- I felt cold in the office, probably because I used my only uniform blazer again (which was quite cold from the rain.  I didn't have time to iron it again to make it warm).  That night, I started to feel chill all over my body.  And that's it.  The next day, I was really in chill.

Wednesday-- I put socks on my feet and jacket the whole day.  I was like a suman.  And I felt a little silly because all the other members of the house (my in-laws) were wearing light clothes while I was in almost-winter clothes.  I watched the newly appointed President Noynoy Aquino's speech (but I didn't finished it because I really felt so damn bad).  My head and throat also ached a lot.  I skipped lunch and just slept.  I know I really needed a lot of rest.  My husband, who had an overtime work at his office, treated me that night at North Park because I couldn't eat anything but soft foods.  I ordered Nanking Beef and Wanton soup with HongKong noodles, and had a Honey Lemonade and water for drinks.  Imagine, we're eating in North Park, in my pajamas (and imagine, I didn't even take a bath that day because I was too cold).  I felt like a lucky street kid.  I'm lucky to have Jeff as my husband. :)

Thursday-- I told my boss I couldn't be able to go to work because of my fever and flu.  I felt warmer than Wednesday, and I was perspiring a lot.  But I knew I was still not ok because I still felt weak.

Friday-- This is today.  I was supposed to go to work, but my body still feels weak and I am afraid to get cold again and catch flu.  My officemate teased me, "whatever your reason is, hihi!", maybe she thought that I'm just making excuses to have a long weekend.  I told her, "Girl, trangkaso ito dahil sa ulan nung Monday!".  Hay, if I only have enough strenth to go to office today, I would go because my sick leaves aren't paid....and it is so much harder to have a deducted salary (meaning, our family budget will be affected).  If others thought I'm happy with this sick leave, they are totally wrong.  Any family person or mother will not be happy to know that she will not meet the expected family budget.  Well, at the same time, I won't be happy also if I go to work despite of my current health status and would find myself in worse state afterwards.

Oh, my brother-in-law's in ICU right now because of Myocarditis.  A virus targeted his heart muscle.  Hmm...we're actually both having colds and fever these past few days.  But his case got worse, he had to rush to the hospital.  Now, I'm thinking of having the same clinical test because I fear that I might also have the same illness (I pray na sana hindi naman...pero wala namang masama if magpa-test diba?).  I'll convince my husband regrding that.

Good thing, my daughter's at Laguna right now, away from all the viruses we have here at Alabang.  I pray that she would stay happy and healthy there.  I miss her.