Lesson Learned on a Mixed Prayer

Everyday, before I go to my office, I drop by the chapel to say a quick morning prayer.  Since I often feel stressed at work, the first thing that I pray is for Him to give me strength and will to go on with my job and to guide me in my everyday tasks and projects.  With all my energy focused on this hope, I would always feel better once I'm on my desk already and my days become more manageable.  It shows that God really lifts our burdens and produces miracles to make our prayers come true.

However, my mistake, I think, was this: What comes last in my quick morning prayer is for my family, to keep them safe, happy and healthy.  And to be honest, my heart usually is not really set on this prayer because my focus is on my career worries.

This new year, I promised not to be late for work because I had too many tardiness and leaves last year and I am quite worried that my attendance would affect my career.  My tardiness and absences are all because of family matters, especially when either I or my daughter was sick.  And of course, I couldn't help but to excuse myself from work if my daughter is sick because...well, I am a mother and I want to personally take care of my daughter.  Anyway, just last Wednesday, I broke my new year resolution--- I was again absent from work because my daughter suddenly had very high fever (and I didn't know why.  She was her usual self the day before).  I informed my officemates and they replied positively.  The next day, my daughter still had fever and I had to bring her to the hospital for check up (thank God it wasn't dengue.  Actually her CBC and Urinalysis tests were normal).  That was the 2nd day of my absence.  Then Friday came, she still had the fever and I was planning to take her to another doctor for second opinion.  That was the 3rd day of my absence from work.  My work colleagues didn't already reply to my texts and probably they were already pissed off because we still have a report to work on.  My conscience nagged me whether to go to work and leave my whining and crying daughter who was begging for my embrace or stay at home to take care of my daughter and get ready to be nagged by my officemates (or boss!) next week.  Obviously, I decided to be with my daughter for those 3 days.  A mother's heart is truly stronger than being a career woman.

On the afternoon of my daughter's 3rd day of being sick, her fever suddenly cooled down and she became her normal self again.  I guess she just wanted to feel secured and loved because her daddy just went abroad last week and will be back after a few months.

In this light, I learned that  no matter how much I prayed for my own self growth at workplace, if I do not put the well-being of my family first, everything that I've worked hard for will crash down.  I guess I had my prayers all mixed up.  I should first pray for my family's safety, health and happiness then other personal hopes should come next.

And of course, though I knew this all along, I would always remind myself that being a mother is a mother's main job.

Shoe Shopping

Sharing to you the official rubber shoes of the family, which I bought for our birthdays this year. :)

I thought of giving my daughter Rian her first rubber shoes for her 2nd birthday.  Though the thought and the money came from me, it was my husband Jeff who wanted her new rubber shoes to have straps instead of strings.  He also wanted the shoes to have blinking lights!  It didn't matter to me if he choose the shoes for our daughter.  I actually liked it that way.  We picked a Dora the Explorer shoes for her which fitted her feet and her personality, as well.

I promised my husband to buy him new shoes when my bonus arrives.  And I didn't have to find him a perfect pair because he already had something in his mind--- a boa laced North Face shoes.  It was my very late birthday present for him.  Hehe.

Of course, I should also treat myself.  Shopping for a pair of my own rubber shoes was actually more of a need that time because I would be needing it for our office activity (all my rubber shoes were already so worn out and old already).  I was planning on a cheap rubber shoes, since I am not a sporty type of person.  But my husband said that if I were to buy something that I wanted to last long, I should buy those which are good in quality (which means more expensive too!).  Among us, I was the one who shopped for a long time (it took me days to find a perfect pair of shoe!).  Finally I saw a Sketchers shoe and finally bought it.

Reminiscing the past: Enchanting in the Kingdom

The last time I was in Enchanted Kingdom was in 2007 when my hubby (who was my back-then boyfriend) took me for a date there (you can read my blog about it at Reminiscing the Past: Enchanting Trip).  This year, it was a nice thing for me to once again experience the thrill and excitement of the carnival...and this time, I was with my own family.

The company where my brother works had its family outing last summer at Enchanted Kingdom.  Since he and his family couldn't make it because his daughter had a ballet recital on the day of the outing, he decided to give his complimentary tickets to my parents and brothers.  Of course, my parents wanted to take my daughter Rian with them so we let her join the pack, with my hubby Jeff and me tagging along.  It's good that  my daughter was free to enter because she was 1 year old back then, so I just bought 2 tickets for Jeff and me.

The trip had been a very tiring one for me and Jeff because of the heat, crowd, and super  likot Rian.  Jeff really looked like he was not having fun, and hey, neither do I!  But despite of it, I just thought that we were there not actually to enjoy, but to accompany Rian. I felt satisfied and happy just to see her surprise on her face when she saw the Space Shuttle ride go somersault and when we rode the rides in the Boulderville.  And hey, it was also my parents' first time to enter the carnival so I was also happy for them and I wanted them to enjoy.

My husband and I got to also ride Space Shuttle, Rialto, and Flying Fiesta.  We also got to play in the game booths.  I won a crab stuff toy at a booth where I got to shoot a ball into a milk can!  Hmm...did I say I didn't enjoy the trip?  I take that back.  I did!  

Reminiscing the Past: Family Trip at the Zoo

The last time I went to Manila Zoo was way back when I was 7 or 8 years old, during our grade school field trip.  That's why during the long weekend last week, I suggested my husband to visit Manila Zoo, and bring along our daughter.  I was quite surprised to know that my husband had never been in Manila Zoo!  Because of our need to get out and de-stress (and our baby was also wanting to get out of the house too!),  we went there last Sunday, August 29, 2010.  It became a wonderful family trip.

My husband and I would have wanted to go to Avilon Zoo instead, because reviews say it is much better than Manila Zoo.  But since it was far from our place and it is more expensive than Manila Zoo (medyo tipid kami ngayon e), we decided to visit Manila Zoo instead.  Well, Manila Zoo isn't really bad at all.  I admit, It is not a good place to educationally tour around because the animals were quite old (and there's no more Giraffe).  But if you want a cheaper place wherein you can just bond and spend time with your loved ones, it is a very good place because you can take your family out for a picnic there and ride a boat for a cheap price.  There is also a playground for kids, complete with slides and swings.  It is a good place for them to mingle with other kids.  For me, Manila Zoo is not a zoo with a park, but a park with a zoo. Hehe :D

At the background: Boat ride in Manila Zoo

It was a Sunday, and my husband and I were shocked to know that despite of the bad reviews, Manila Zoo was jampacked!  Ang daming tao pa rin pala pumupunta dun!  We paid for only P80.00 for entrance fee (P40.00 per head, and my 1 year old baby had it for free!).  Our first stop was the birds (which my baby was not very interested in.  She was more interested to watch the people around her.  I guess she was amazed on so many people she saw).  Then we also got to see the monkeys (ok, in this stop, our daughter finally showed interest in the animals.  She made a loud babble when she saw the monkey which bounced in his cage).  We also saw a horse, a zebra...and their crossbred baby, the famous Hebra!

Can you spot the Hebra?

We also visited the boring crocodiles and alligators (they were not moving at all!  Oh, I was so bored just looking at them!).  We also went in the Reptile House.  Then outside at the other end of the Reptile House, we got to see the elephant!  And our daughter was so amazed, she began mumbling and babbling while looking at the elephant-- she was actually talking to the big long nosed guy!  Haha!

Rian just made friends with the Elephant!

We also saw ostrich, tigers, carabaos, cows.... Anyway, when we passed by a toy store kiosk, Rian pointed at a toy monkey.  Since she was a good girl and I was in a good mood, I bought her the toy monkey she picked and put it around her neck.  During the rest of our tour, she mumbled and babbled at the monkey, and pointing her finger around (like what i had been doing to her the whole time, pointing to animals to show them to her).  She was actually touring her new toy monkey around the zoo!  And all the while she had been kissing and hugging the stuff toy.  She never took it away from her neck.  She loved it so much.  I was glad I bought it for her. It would serve as a remembrance for her first visit in Manila Zoo.  :)

"This is my pet monkey.  Don't you dare to take it away from me!"

 Our last stop was a carinderia, wherein my husband ordered Pancit Canton for the two of us.  I fed Rian with her favorite biscuit and milk.  Then we drove home.  Rian slept in the car peacefully.  We were all tired from the trip...just imagine how long we walked and how hot was the heat.  We got home tired, but we were happy.  Aside from being de-stressed, we were happy because we got to spend the day with our family.

Quality time is an important ingredient in having a happy family. :)

Shopping for my family

It's true that once you have a family, you will think of them first before yourself.  And that goes too with shopping.

There was an anniversary bazaar in our company last week and the prices of the items in it was lower than the regular prize in malls.  My collegues started to purchase items mostly for themselves during the opening day.  But I got to shop on the last day of the bazaar because it was also our payday (too bad all new employees weren't able to get yet the bonus...and I'm one of them.  Worse, my salary was deducted because I got  absences this month because I got sick.  Read my blog about it: On Sick Leave. ).  But despite of those things, I still de-stressed myself into shopping.  I bought for the following items:

2 terno outfits for my toddler Rian.  I initally picked just 1 terno (pink strapped top with shorts) for only 50.00 Php.  But since the saleslady didn't have change for 1K, I decided to buy 2 terno (I added the green strapped top with shorts).  The outfits could be worn at home or going outdoors.  When I got home, I realized that both outfits are of the same design, they just differed in color!

2 kikay caps also for Rian.  This is worth 25.00 Php each.  She already have 2 caps at home--- one white and one pink. So for her collection, I purchased one green and one checkered (blue, pink, green, white).  We already used the green one earlier when we went to her pediatrician for her monthly check up, and I was surprised she didn't take off her beautiful cap like she always did before.  And when I stood her infront of the mirror with her new cap on her head, she smiled with glee, probably she knows how cute she is with her new cap.

1 pair of Adidas shorts for my hubby Jeff.  Most of his shorts are already torn and does not fit to him anymore (lalo ka ba tumataba, hunny ko?).  We had been planning to buy himself new shorts but he prioritizes in meeting our family's basic needs, he ended up having money shortage (hehe).  That's why when I learned that there's a booth for men's shorts in the bazaar, I got to pick the kind of shorts that my husband would love (he wanted a short that could be worn either at home or outdoors).  And guess what, I got it for 100.00 Php only. 

1 pair of Liliw shoes for my sister-in-law.  After all, it was her birthday last Thursday, and it's our welcoming gift for her, as well, because she just came back from Bermuda.  Giving gifts to our dear friends and relatives are part of our family's tradition.  My husband and I decided to give her shoes which are made from Liliw, Laguna, Philippines, because know that when she go back to Bermuda, she could wear those shoes with pride because it's Philippine-made and export-quality, as well.  Too bad I got the wrong size for her, but anyway, I could still exchange it for the right size next week.  Hey, I order those Liliw shoes at my officemate who also happens to be my office seatmate! 

Finally, I decided to buy for myself also...but I purchased the item which would benefit myslef and my husband, as well.  I bought something that both of us would benefit from it so that he wouldn't get angry with my shopping galore (hehe).  It was red and black, made from satin, 2 piece outfit which can be worn at home (at at night!).  Top is spaghetti-strapped, with lace.  Bottom is panty-like, matching the design of the top, also with lace.  Sexy enough but not super lusty.  Guess what it is?  Yup it's a nightie. And I bought it for 350.00 Php.  Sulit enough, when my husband saw it, he approved it.  I still haven't worn it, though.  Hehe.  Probably tonight. ;-D

Shopping is really fun and de-stressing.  But after it (like now), time to worry about how could I live for the next two weeks.  Haha!

A Yabadabadooo Picture!

from: http://i-love-cartoons.com/

I was browsing for a good clipart to add in my blog, and I found this one!  This picture really reminds me of my family---The Flintstones!--- I'm Wilma, Fred's my husband, and Pebbles is our baby Rian.  We don't actually have a dog to portray Dino, but we have a stuff toy cat named Baby Siops (a gift I received from my husband way back when we were still in bf-gf relationship).

I loved watching The Flintstones because it was funny and entertaining.  Actually, I enjoyed watching it than the Jetsons (which had a complete opposite scenario with the Flintstones because they futuristic).  Hey, I even remember that I used to take Flintstones Vitamins when I was a Kid!  And I still remember its TV commercial...why is my Flintstones different from your Flintstones?...Why are you wearing mommy's shoes???  Because...  Hahaha!

Hmm....now if I could just make a Flintstone theme design for my blog, that would be nice, isn't it?  But I'm not a web expert, hehe.  So I guess, I would just have to self-study on how to create customized blogs.  Well, I'm open to have somebody else create for me, but probably for a good price. :D

For now, it's a good feeling to reminisce the Yabadabadooo! child in me.

The Liwanag family picture, taken during Rian's baptism

On Problem Solving

I attended a training workshop in our company which talked about Problem Solving and Decision Making using KT (Kepner-Tregoe) process.  KT process includes a very systematic way to analyze and address problems.  We run this training program in our company to boost our Managers' problem solving and decision making skills in work.  But the KT process can also be used beyond our career...it can also be used in our daily lives.  And I'm going to share with you some insights I gained from the training workshop, which could be helpful in solving problems in any aspect of your lives.

Do you argue with your husband in some things most of the time?  Does your kid have school dilemna?  Can't you sleep peacefully at night because there are lot of things you're thinking and worried about? Can't choose between two or more good options?  Problems are obstacles that hinder you to achieve your goal.  It's the gap between the actual state and the desired state.  Moreover, problems can be anywhere and can come up anytime.  But  we can minimize, avoid, and solve them.  And we can effectively solve them by having the right decisions.

Sometimes, we just tend to address the problem by a "reaction".  We do whatever that comes into our minds or do the traditional solutions we know just to solve problems.  And the problem occurs again the future.  Let's ask ourselves...are we really solving the problem?

Here are some tips in Problem Solving and Decision Making, from the popular KT Process (I will not elaborate the whole process because it's a long discussion.  Just leave a comment if you're interested to learn more.  I'm willing to share the whole thing with you).

1. State the problem.  When you feel grumpy or angry, a friend tells you, "hey, what's your problem?!".  The next time you hear that, don't just let it pass through your ears.  Ask yourself, "what is my problem?".  By answering that, you would know your actual state.

2.  State your goal.  Knowing now what's your problem, ask yourself, "what is your goal?" Given the problem, ano ang gusto mong mangyari? By this, you would now know your desired state.

3. Know the root cause of the problem.  Knowing the root cause of the problem is like knowing the main illness of a sick person, not just the symptoms. This is important so that we can provide the right medicine (solution) to the illness (problem).  Because if we wouldn't address the real root cause of a problem, it will just come back again and again.  You can use the Fishbone Diagram in knowing the root cause.  In doing this, you ask yourself why did the problem came up? Then you ask yourself again, "why?".  Ask it again for 5 times until you have reached the real root cause or root causes (if there are many).

Fishbone Diagram template

4. Think of possible solutions or options.  Write all the options you can think of.  If the problem involves other persons such as your husband or your mother, encourage them to brainstorm with you and come up with possible options.  But we'll consider those as options as for now, because later, we'll pick the best solution among them.

5.  Know your MUST Criteria.  MUSTs are the criteria you would set that are necessary in picking the right solution.  Cross out one or more options (from step 5) if they do not meet this MUSTs.

6.  Know your WANTs Criteria.  WANTs are the criteria you would set that are not necessarily the basic needs but what you prefer in picking the right solution. 

7.  Rate your options.  For each options left from # 5 step, rate if each of them has attained your WANTs Criteria.  You can scale the rate from 1-10, 10 being the highest.  Then get the average rating from all the options. Consider the option with the highest rating the best solution for your problem.  (P.S.  Reflect also on the solution.  It must be harmless, safe, and humane.  For example, terminating an employee because he / she is not delivering properly her responsibilities may not be a likable solution.  Hmmm...you cannot even terminate your husband if he is not doing his job as a good husband, as well...though it seemed like a pretty good idea for some.  It is better if you choose a win-win solution for the problem.)  Also check if your solution will take you to your desired state (from # 2 step).

8.  Delegate tasks and make a commitment.  Knowing the right solution doesn't end the whole Problem Solving process.  You have to DO IT.  And you can do it by either delegating tasks to yourself and to other people who are involved in the problem and/or making a commitment with yourself or with them.

9.  Follow up.  Review how the solution changed your life.  Has it eliminated the problem or do you have some improvements to do?  What are the things you should do in order to prevent it in the long run?  Prevention is really important so that the problem would not happen again.

10.  Celebrate!  Hey, you're 1 problem down! (this was not originally in the course module.  I just added this step because I believe that we should give ourselves a pat on the back because we did something good and right.) :)

I hope you enjoyed reading this article, and you have gained some insights which could be used in your daily lives, especially at home.  Happy problem solving everyone!

Work vs Family

Last week, an officemate of mine asked me which is more important for me-- my work or my family.  I confidently answered, "my family".  Well, I work for my family, right?  Actually, I was kinda irritated by his question because it sounded sarcastic...or was it just I was being too sensitive because I didn't want to be confronted like that-- choosing between two important aspects of my life, especially by someone who also has a family himself!

The question was actually just a joke, probably a harmless comment said to me because I excused myself from having an overtime that day because it was by husband's birthday (well, the overtime wasn't paid too!).  But I wasn't amused by that joke.  I felt like I was being pressured to decide according to his view in life.  It wasn't the first time he commented on my decisions regarding my family life, and I found his unsolicited comments and advices quite annoying.

I knew some instances wherein the woman chose her career over her family.  The reason for their decision was that they feel empowered and confident when they become successful at work-- which is true, of course and I'm not against it.  But being too much work-focused can also have consequences.  And for my colleagues who chose work over their families (especially their husbands), they ended up having a broken relationship with them (and changing their Facebook status from "married" to "single").

And I also knew some instances wherein the woman gave up her career in order to be with her family and to become a full-pledged homemaker whose life is dedicated to serve her husband and children.  I often wonder how their family are makes ends meet with only the husband who earns money.  But nevertheless, they still survive.

I never wanted to become a workaholic career woman, nor a full-pledged homemaker.  I like to work...but only for the right reason.  I work for my family, not for the love of work itself (though we also have to love our work in order to be happy...but maybe not too much that we neglect to give time and happiness to our family members).  As we work hard to earn money, we should also work HARDER to have and maintain good relationship with our family...and we can achieve this through prioritization and time management.

La lang, nag-vent out lang ako. Peace. :)

Suddenly, I'm Into Blogging

Suddenly, I'm into blogging.

I admit, I tried to create blogs before. I had 2 accounts with blogger in 2006, wrote an entry in one of them then I forgot about them (and I also forgot the usernames and passwords I used). I just remembered them when I tried to use URL names in this blog site that I usually use in other sites, I was surprised because they were unavailable. I entered the URL name to see who the heck used it, and oh my! It all came back to me...I was the one who created those blogs!

I would like to share with you the URL's of those blogs but one of them has no entry posted in it, so it would be useless if I would share it with you and you wouldn't find anything there.  The other blog site was my anonymous blog site, I used a pseodonym there because the only posted entry I made there was kinda scandalous (if you're someone who knows me but didn't know me well, you might think-- "Vaneni? Scandalous? No way! She's such a good girl!" Well, that's what you thought!  I also have a bitch in me! Haha!).  Message me if you're really that interested to read it. ;-D

I also have a Friendster Blog.  It became my central blog eversince Friendster created it.  All my thoughts and feelings were poured into that blog, from the time I moved on with my first heartbreak until my husband and I got together.  You can visit it at: http://vaneni.blog.friendster.com/ and enjoy reading.  You might find some wonderful insights there about love and life.  It's my single life blog.

Just before and after my marriage with my hubby, my writings slowed down.  Probably because I'm not too inspired to write because I was so happy in love (my writings before were more dramatic.  My writings were a way to release my deepest darkest feelings of anger and sadness).  But now, since I am becoming more mature in life, I would like my writings to be more than an expression of my blue moods, but also a sharing of joy, triumphs and milestones in life.  I wanted to be more positive. Being positive is good for my mental health.

So, I created a new blog. This blog. But I didn't immediately publish it because I was still thinking of a perfect theme--- would it be about lessons in life?  My dreams and aspirations? Reviews of the books I had read?  Hmm...what topic would inspire me most?  While reflecting, my baby, who was on her walker, strolled towards me and suddenly tapped my legs.  Inspiration suddenly struck me!  I could write about my new life as a mom and wife.  I could share to the world my everyday experiences in handling family life!  Knowing what theme I already like, I became super excited to start this blogging.

My family is my inspiration, my love, and my life.  Because of this family, I learned to be stronger in life and aspire more dreams, not just for myself but also for my husband and my baby.  I dedicate this blog site to them.

Oh wow, look how much I am inspired to write--- I already have 5 entries in a month (including this one)!  And I'm not stopping to count.  I still had so much ideas in my head that I want to write.  I guess, I'm now turning to be a blog addict. Haha!

Home Sweetest Home

By next week, my family will leave our home here at Batangas, and we'll move in with my husband's family at Alabang, Muntinlupa City.  A move from a quiet fresh town to a fast paced city.  A move from a place overseeing the green mountains of Mt. Makiling to a place near malls and big buildings.  Well, it's nothing new for my husband because he had lived there for 28 years...until we got married.  But then, it will be something new for me because I would be getting along with some new people in my life.  Of course, I had already stayed with my in-laws but only for quite a while, 2 weeks were the longest time I stayed with them.  But living with them for a longer time would be a challenge for me, especially with my erratic moods and sanguine temperament. 

We decided to live with them because I finally got a job at Manila.  My in-law's house is nearer to my new workplace (as well as my husband's office), and they are very open to take care of my baby while I'm at work, since they are already retired and available.

I would miss our home here at Batangas.  Living here with just my husband and my baby always lets me feel more like a family woman.  Parang naglalaro lang kami ng bahay-bahayan (It's like we're just playing house).  Jeff and I are the ones who gets the house organized, the ones who cook meals (ooopss...it is my husband who prepares the meals! He's an aspiring chef! Hehe.), we are the ones who pays the bills, and we are the ones who takes care of the baby (As a homemaker, I am very hands on in taking care of our daughter Rian).  And since we're far away from both family sides, we feel very independent in making family decisions and actions.  We could also do whatever we want here.  We could get mad, cry or nag each other if we want to.  We could get kinky and tease each other whenever we want to (and wherever inside the house---hehe), without thinking if anyone would hear us or if anyone would just open the door, unwelcomed.  Our rules rule...mostly MY rules...I'm the queen of the house! Harhar!

Privacy is just one thing.  I love this house, it is my home...my family's home.  And there's no other better place like a home sweet home.  But for now, we have no choice but to leave this abode.  But we won't sell it.  It's such a beautiful house with a beautiful scenery.  We'll just find somebody who might like to rent it.  Someday, we'll purchase a new house near our workplace so that we would be able to live again as an independent nuclear family.  It is one of our long-term plans.  And when that someday comes, we would have again a house we could call a home, just like this home we have right now in Batangas.