CC: Who's the Boss?

My hubby and I took a personality test years ago (just for fun) and it showed that we both have boss-y temperaments, probably because we're both the eldest child among our siblings. But somehow, we're quite different in exercising our authoritative nature. 

The Choleric.  Jeff is the Choleric one.  Choleric persons are the typical authoritarian, dominant and powerful bosses.  At best, they are take-charge persons, determined and doer.  At worst, they are stubborn, impatient and inflexible.  When my husband decides on something, it's already hard to argue with him.  He always wants to do almost everything his way and sometimes when he decides or does something without my consent, I couldn't help but to feel bad.  But when a decision or move doesn't come from him, he's the one feeling bad because he thinks that he's useless.  So since I'm the flexible one, I get us to compromise without him knowing that we're compromising at all (and that's my skill, given my temperament which I will discuss later).  I let him decide on big and important matters because it makes him feel responsible and valued (like where to invest money, where to take an out-of-town trip, what brand of appliances or electronic device we plan to buy....).  Then I do the little bossy gestures at him--- like getting him to turn off the lights for me and getting him to be the first to take a bath in the morning because I am too lazy to get up from bed (haha!).

The Sanguine.  I'm the Sanguine between us.  Sanguines are people-centered, fun loving, and talkative.  They have lots of new ideas, very creative and persuasive.  At best, they are very social, expressive, and sincere.  At worst, they are exaggerating, compulsive, and very emotional.  I'm not a very bossy type like my husband, I sure can persuade him with my magical convincing words or my emotional moods (I just put a pout on my face infront of him, and his heart would melt). At times, Jeff still asks my opinion, especially for new and creative ideas (example, if he couldn't think of how we should spend our date, he would just simply ask me how I like us to spend our romantic date).  Most of the time, when I become restless, I would convince him to take the family out for a mall or out-of-town trip, and all I have to do was to talk and talk and talk to him about it until he finally gives in.  And if he doesn't give in with my proposals, especially if it would involve cash,  I still feel lucky to have him in my life because I still get him to do housechores and little personal favors one-hundred percent (kahit dahil sa katamaran ko lang, he would still do it for me). Sanguines are naturally annoyingly cute, and my husband loves me for that.  Hey, it must be the charm.  Haha!

Even though Jeff and I are both exercising our own way of being the boss of the house, we still consider God as our Big Boss.  God is the one who provides us with our basic needs.  God is the one who gives us good health and blessings in life.  God is the one who controls our home...and we praise Him for that.

CC: What do we want from each other

What do I want from him?

I learned to accept my husband from the day we got together, and now that we are married, I do not demand him to change.  But somehow, I wish that he would be sweetingly enough to treat me as her queen.  I know that he's not the romantic type, but then, there are times that I long for the times when he was still courting me--- he would give me flower and would willingly drive me home even though my place was a south-expressway far from his place.  Hey, it was years ago since the last time he gave me flowers (it was even before we got married pa!).  And his face goes sour and bitter when I request him to drive me to my office (and imagine, I still have to request for it!  Where's his initiative?!).  I wouldn't say he is thoughtless because I know he's a responsible person to us as the head of the family.  But I hope sometimes, he would again sweep me off my feet and make me all nuts and crazy about him just like before.  I want to feel again the kilig factor all over again.  Hey, who says that courting should stop by the day that a couple is married!

What does he want from me?

Aside from satisfying his manly cravings (which I usually neglect because I get so tired from work-- and I'm so guilty about it!), I guess, he would want me to lessen my whines and complaints about anything.  I don't nag him (I had learned the effects of nagging during my relationship with my ex), but I just have too much to say, that most of the time, I become more of a talker than a doer. 

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.  But eventually, as for me and my husband, we tend to compromise and sometimes give in to our wishes.

Happy Couple's Corner meme reading and blogging! :)

CC: The Hardest Days

My husband and I are still in our honeymoon period--- we're going 2 years in marriage (plus an almost 2-year bf-gf relationship).  So far, we are not experiencing a major concern in our family, but of course, I wouldn't say that we're having an easy life either.  In the last CC meme, I already discussed that money becomes a sensitive issue in our marriage, but I still thank God because even though we whine about it, He still provides us. 

The days that I consider the hardest for us way back just before our wedding, the days when we learned that I was pregnant.  We were planning for a perfect wedding that time, but all of the sudden, I became pregnant.   It felt like all the dreams and plans that we wanted for a perfect wedding and family shattered, and reality of a life with bigger responsibilities suddenly unfolds us.  We even asked ourselves if we were really ready for it, emotionally and financially.  But we had no choice but to be ready for it.  We cried for the loss of our future dreams, as well as the expectations of our parents.  Those were the hard days.

But hard days make us better and stronger persons.  With our baby, we became more motivated and inspired to give the best that we can be in life.  With our baby, we plan for new future dreams.  With our baby, we our marriage became stronger.  With our baby, the world becomes a fun place to live in.

I am aware that harder days will come in the future.  But my family's faith in God is stronger than them. 

Couples Corner: Sensitivity

Between my husband and I, I'm the one who's more onion-skinned (balat-sibuyas in tagalog, meaning, super sensitive.  I even cry easily when my feelings get hurt.  When he does or says something that would hurt my feelings, I turn super quiet and most of the time, I wait for him to go to sleep at night and then I could weep by myself.  As much as I would like to open how much I've been hurt, I feel that he wouldn't understand because he's an extra rational guy.  If he thinks that it wouldn't harm him, then it wouldn't harm me too.  For me, that kind of thinking is not right because I believe that different people has different fears and may have different level of pain felt in certain experiences.  Though I have already discussed with him the reality about human beings (since I'm a Social Technology major and I studied groups of people and their behaviors), his mind is mainly focused on rational thinking (hmm...what can I expect in an Electronics Communications Engineering graduate and a Process Engineer of a manufacturing company guy!).  

Money is the most sensitive topic we discuss.  He's always saying to me that we haven't got enough money, there are so many bills to pay, blah-blah-blah....  Most of the time when I hear him worry about money, I couldn't help but to feel guilty because even though I'm now working in a company, my salary is just enough for my everyday expenses such as fare and food, but when there's money left, I share it in our expenses (but it wasn't a big share).  One time when my husband told me that my share wasn't enough, I cried infront of him because there I was, overworked and underpaid, then he would demand me to share more, while he's the one earning better than me!  I was soooo pissed off, I still couldn't forget that scene even though he had already apologized to me.  That's why I am planning to take a sideline job (aside from my regular work at office and motherly duties) so that I could earn more and shove the money at him so that I wouldn't hear anymore of his reklamo about money and he wouldn't make me feel guilty at all.  (God help me to have more energy!).  Sometimes, I feel that money's more important than him than relationships.  But I guess, he doesn't mean to like that at all.  He just wanted a financially secured family now and in the future.  I love him for thinking about having a secured family. :)

Well, that shows how sensitive I am noh? Hehe.

I don't know if my husband gets sensitive at all because it seems like he isn't getting hurt at all.  He doesn't get pissed off easily pero kapag mapuno ang basyo,  probably that's time he'll show his sensitivity.  I haven't seen him get super angry yet, and I guess, I wouldn't want to wait for that time.  I bet that hell would rise when he gets so pissed off. Hehe.

Happy Couples Corner reading and blogging!

CC: Trust, Faith and Loyalty

It was just 2 weeks ago when my officemates debated on the meanings of the 3 words--- Trust, Faith and Loyalty.  And I can't believe I'm gonna actually write my opinion about those words because the night after their debate, I was left thinking of their definitions...and it was a hard one for me! (Sis Liz, grabe pinag-isip mo kami dito ah! Hehe)

TRUST is a very important value of relationships, which could be romantic or non-romantic (like friendships and business relationships).  Without this, there cannot be a harmonious relationship.  It is believing that whatever happens, one will abide my the rules or contracts or promises made.  For me, trust is earned by hardwork.  That's why my husband and I had a courting stage and a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship before we got married so that we would know if we are worthy of each other's trust.  And of course, we still have take care of the trust we earned from each other even though we entered matrimony, so that we could have a harmonious relationship.  Trust and Love goes hand in hand, because love without trust is just an obsession that could result to jealousy and emotional pain for both parties (and they say that love without trust creates baby! But that's a joke! Haha!).

LOYALTY is surrendering yourself to someone or something, and whatever happens, through thick or thin, you stay by him/her/it.  One would never leave, reject and betray someone or something. A good example of people showing loyalty are the soldiers.  They are loyal to the country that they give their lives for it because they believe that being loyal to their country would give them satisfaction in their lives.  It's what they live for.  Same goes for marriage.  From the day my husband and I got wed, we start to live for each other.  And it is our happiness to stick with each other whatever happens---just like what we promised during our wedding ceremony. 

FAITH is a word more popular to religion, but is also an important core value in relationships.  Faith is believing without actually seeing.  If one believes God, then he has faith in God.  One doesn't need to see the miracles God made in the Bible just to believe them.  One just knows by his heart that they are true.  Sometimes, in love, we don't really have to prove it just to know it exists.  All we have to do is to believe it with our hearts. Loving blindly is a negative connotion and we have to put it in a positive way--- We love with faith.  My husband and I don't really have to prove every minute of every day that we love each other because we already have faith in each other.  We believe that we love each other.

What's common from those three words is the word B-E-L-I-E-V-E.  Believing makes the three words, not just superficial and overused words, but R-E-A-L.  We cannot see love, but if we believe-- with trust, loyalty and faith-- it makes L-O-V-E a real thing that could be enjoyed by couples.  Because love without believing is just a plain fake love.

Our rings and my bridal flower

Happy Couple's Corner meme reading and blogging! :)

CC: Helping Each Other

Marriage involves give and take relationship and two-way communication.  This is because marriage means synergy of two individuals--- well, one cannot marry oneself, can he? 

My husband and I helps each other in different ways.  The assistance he had given to me that cannot be ignored was when I was pregnant and even after I gave birth to our baby girl.  Since I gave birth through Cesarian (CS), and I should not do any tough chores.  My husband, Jeff, was the one who did most of the household chores, especially the laundry.  He also did most of the cooking (since he got interested in it!).  He also helped me clean the house (and I got him to clean the bathroom sometimes, hehe).  His schedule was working at office on weekdays and doing chores on weekends.  It seemed like he never gets tired.  I was a housewife back then and I wanted to take over the chores but he had always said that he didn't want me to get tired, and he wanted me to focus on taking care of our baby, since she was still an infant back then and I was having lots of eyebugs because of baby's irregular sleeping routines.  But then, I still got to do household chores while he's at the office.  I loved putting things in order in our simple abode.  Hehe.

I was really thankful for having a husband like him who is really willing to help around the house. 

When my baby turned 8 months, I started to search for work, because I wanted to help our family financially.  Though Jeff's salary was just enough for our basic needs, we thought that it would be better if we could have extra money for extra expenses and savings.  Now I got work (and left our home to live with my in-laws because it would be nearer to our workplaces), and somehow, even though I have lower salary than him, I still get to manage to chip in even a little amount for miscellaneous expenses.  And  I guess, in that small way, I could eventually help out my husband financially.  I am also thinking of a sideline so that I could have extra cash for our family savings.

Hmm...what I like best about helping each other is when both of us take turns in taking care of our daughter, Rian.  When Jeff knows I'm tired or doing some assignments or just so I could take a short break for myself, he would be the one entertaining and playing with our daughter.  But then, the bathing and diaper changing parts would always be my chore (except for the times when I'm not yet back home from the office).  It's a routine we do which we enjoy a lot.  Because when we help each other out in taking care of our baby, and even in other ways, we feel much more of a family.

Happy Couples Corner Meme blogging! :)

 

CC entry: When Simple Sorry is Not Enough

I was late in submitting this CC entry, because I wasn't in the mood to write about "saying sorry"  these past few days because my husband and I just got into an argument...and I didn't feel saying sorry at him (and I guess, never did he).  Despite of it, I still promised Liz to write an entry because I wanted to share with you my observation on how my husband and I say sorry to one another...and when simple sorry is not enough.

When my husband and I were still sweethearts few years ago, we just got into 1 heated argument.  We had differences but we tried to understand them.  He did something that made me really really angry (and he got mad at me too because for him, it was not something to fuss about).  But at the end of the day, we kissed and made up.  I don't remember if we said sorry to one another, but what's important is that we compromised.

Now that we're married, we argue more.  There were times he said "sorry" at me but my heart was still broken.  Between us, he's the one who forgives and forgets quickly.  So when I say "sorry" at him, he accepts it fast (but then, I don't usually say "sorry" especially if I'm pissed off and hurt).  During the last argument we had just a few days ago, no one said "sorry" to each other until now.  But we're in good terms already.  I guess, what works for our relationship is that even though "sorry" is a hard word for us, as long as we would have a quiet time or space to cool down our heads (yung tipong saglit hanggang isang araw kayong hindi mag-uusap), then after that, para na kaming mga bata na parang walang nangyari pagkatapos mag-away. Sometimes we treat each other and even make lambing just to show that we're already cooled down. Then we compromise.

P.S.  Saying sorry through actions or by cooling down our heads just works for my husband, not for other people.  I would still want other people who would hurt me or who had hurt me in whatever way that they are sorry.  When others say sorry at me, I can forgive quickly.  That's what works for my other relationships with people (friendship, relative, officemate, etc.).

To Jeff, sorry if I made you mad at times because of my selfishness and immaturity and kaartehan and pagiging reklamador.  I love you for being very patient at me.  Maybe we're just both stressed and tired from work, we often forget to communicate and understand.  Anyway, I won't promise I would change (because that's very hard to do in just a snap), but I'm always trying to be the best wife that you wanted.  I love you very much hunny! Mwah!

Read other CC entries on this at Couples Corner!  Happy CC meme blogging!

CC: When we want something..

CC topic: "When we want sumthing sumthing"

Between the two of us, I am the one who want more "sumthing-sumthing" than him.  Maybe because I am the vocal one when it comes to my needs and wants.  When I want something, I just say, "hun, gusto ko nun oh, ang ganda e. Bili mo ko nun ha?"  Then he would just say "meow!" (the "meow" expression for us means, "nyek!").  Of course, pa-cute ko yun sasabihin and it seemed like I'm not serious into having it (well...half-heartedly).  Him, being the budget-minded person, would just say "walang budget e".  Then I get over with my obsession over the things I wanted.  Alam ko naman kasi na kapag may extra money ang husband ko, he would just surprise me with the things I like, along with other things I didn't even mentioned to him but I ended up liking them.  But if there's no hope of him buying those things for me, I end up buying them for myself, then he would feel torn between the two--- relief of the pressure of spending or bothered because he couldn't provide me of my needs and wants. Hehe.  However when it comes to favors or errands like buying medicine for me or even just turning the lights off because I'm too lazy to get out of the bed, he has no second thoughts of disobeying me.

As for my husband, he rarely tells me what he wants.  Actually, I am the one who offers him to buy something he wanted.  Pride really is dominant on males, especially a family guy.  Being needy probably is not on their list of attitudes because it's a big punch on their egos.  My husband really makes tiis if he cannot get what he wanted, and he didn't want the idea that his wife would buy him something...even a meal a fastfood!  That's why whenever I give him something, he would tell me, "anu ka ba, hindi mo na dapat yan binili para sa akin."  I know he means that my money could have spent in other important things, but I admit, sometimes, I feel hurt when he turns down my little surprises for him.  But take note: when it comes to bed, he's the needy one.  He would do anything just to get me in the mood to make love with him (not that I don't want to, but sometimes he wants on the night when I'm so damn tired from work).  I won't get into details...you probably know what I mean...hey, I think every husband is just as needy as him when it comes to bed. Haha!

CC: Our Likes and Dislikes

1. I like my History subject, especially World History.  My hubby doesn't like History...for him, past is past.

2.  I like walking (as long as I'm not hurrying up for something).  He prefers driving than walking. (I don't see myself driving!)

3.  I prefer WORDS (that's why I love writing and blogging).  He prefers NUMBERS (well, he's an engineer).

4.  He doesn't want me being maarte.  I don't want him being matigas ang ulo!

5.  He doesn't mind if his clothes weren't ironed.  I mind!!!!

6.  I love Chicken McDo than Jollibee Chickenjoy.  But he likes Chickenjoy more than Chicken McDo because Jollibee has spicy chicken.  But then, we both love KFC Chicken. Hehe.

7. He doesn't want to drink gin.  But I prefer gin.  So we ended up drinking Vodka nalang (the Bar sa kanya, Mudshake sa akin).

8.  He does not understand why I'm into magazines and books.  I don't understand why he's into online computer games.

9.  I like color pink, he likes color green.  So when we bought baby's things, we ended up buying blue and yellow items para walang away. Haha! :D

10.  He's rather do something in his day offs than sleep-- like cooking, grocery, doing household chores, etc.  While I'd rather sleep in my day offs rather work around...I need my beauty rest.

Even though my husband and I have some things uncommon, we accept them, and we still love each othe the way we are. :)

Hmm...this should also be a great entry for CC:We're Total Opposite. :)

However, we both love:

1. Japanese food
2. Out of town travels
3. Maroon 5 music!
4. Friendly and warm people
5. watching movies together
6. anime (Reborn!)
7. building our dreams together. :)
8. being mature with our marriage
9. making love with each other :p
10. our precious daughter Rian!