Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Couples Corner: Sensitivity

Rodliz’s Nest

Between my husband and I, I'm the one who's more onion-skinned (balat-sibuyas in tagalog, meaning, super sensitive.  I even cry easily when my feelings get hurt.  When he does or says something that would hurt my feelings, I turn super quiet and most of the time, I wait for him to go to sleep at night and then I could weep by myself.  As much as I would like to open how much I've been hurt, I feel that he wouldn't understand because he's an extra rational guy.  If he thinks that it wouldn't harm him, then it wouldn't harm me too.  For me, that kind of thinking is not right because I believe that different people has different fears and may have different level of pain felt in certain experiences.  Though I have already discussed with him the reality about human beings (since I'm a Social Technology major and I studied groups of people and their behaviors), his mind is mainly focused on rational thinking (hmm...what can I expect in an Electronics Communications Engineering graduate and a Process Engineer of a manufacturing company guy!).  

Money is the most sensitive topic we discuss.  He's always saying to me that we haven't got enough money, there are so many bills to pay, blah-blah-blah....  Most of the time when I hear him worry about money, I couldn't help but to feel guilty because even though I'm now working in a company, my salary is just enough for my everyday expenses such as fare and food, but when there's money left, I share it in our expenses (but it wasn't a big share).  One time when my husband told me that my share wasn't enough, I cried infront of him because there I was, overworked and underpaid, then he would demand me to share more, while he's the one earning better than me!  I was soooo pissed off, I still couldn't forget that scene even though he had already apologized to me.  That's why I am planning to take a sideline job (aside from my regular work at office and motherly duties) so that I could earn more and shove the money at him so that I wouldn't hear anymore of his reklamo about money and he wouldn't make me feel guilty at all.  (God help me to have more energy!).  Sometimes, I feel that money's more important than him than relationships.  But I guess, he doesn't mean to like that at all.  He just wanted a financially secured family now and in the future.  I love him for thinking about having a secured family. :)

Well, that shows how sensitive I am noh? Hehe.

I don't know if my husband gets sensitive at all because it seems like he isn't getting hurt at all.  He doesn't get pissed off easily pero kapag mapuno ang basyo,  probably that's time he'll show his sensitivity.  I haven't seen him get super angry yet, and I guess, I wouldn't want to wait for that time.  I bet that hell would rise when he gets so pissed off. Hehe.

Happy Couples Corner reading and blogging!

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